BY JOI-MARIE MCKENZIE, Essence Magazine

ESSENCE just released approximately 20 minutes of raw audio from Sean “Diddy” Combs’ emotional conversation with writer and friend dream hampton. As they speak, the rap mogul struggles to find the words to describe the loss of his soul mate, Kim Porter.

“Anybody that’s lost a mother or lost a soulmate it takes time. It takes time. They say time heals all wounds when it comes to mothers…I don’t think that’s the case,” Diddy said during their conversation, much of which was captured in ESSENCE’s May cover story.

Growing tearful, Diddy added, “I don’t think anyone would ever understand how hard it is to be a Black mother.”

Although Diddy said he didn’t plan to ever be this emotionally vulnerable with his fans, ESSENCE Chief Content and Creative Officer MoAna Luu noted the rap pioneer “felt that this piece’s potential impact on culture—and anyone who has gone through or is experiencing a similar situation—weighed more heavily than his personal fears. So, he ultimately agreed in sharing it.”

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It speaks to why Diddy feels Porter, who died at age 47 from pneumonialast November, was brought into his life.

“God sent her for me to teach me something,” he told hampton. “There’s levels and dimensions to love, and especially love between a man and woman. There’s this place that almost goes beyond friendship. It’s where two people actually feel like a level of responsibility to love this person forever; and a total trust.”

Listen to the full raw emotional audio from his interview on Thursday’s episode of ESSENCE’s Yes, Girl! podcast, and read more about Diddy’s dedication to his children in the May issue of ESSENCE, on newsstands now.

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